It was any other Saturday night. I was at a gay bar,
drinking too many vodka redbulls and losing my mind over Britney
song after GaGa song, having a good time with my friends. I was
wearing new clothes and I felt like I looked good, a confidence
that helps in environments like gay bars.
I have a small bladder, so I told my friends Id be
right back and was just going to the bathroom. I peed, completely
unaware of who was around me, and as I went to do my pants back up
at the urinal, the 40-something-year-old man next to me told me
that I shouldnt bother doing them back up. He then proceeded to
force his hand down my pants and grab my dick through my
I slapped his hand away, asked him what the fuck was
wrong with him and told him he was a pervert. I washed my hands and
went back to my friends. I was furious, yet my friends were not
surprised common practice in a gay bar.
Youre gorgeous, you can hardly blame him, one of them
told me, wrapping a compliment around an excuse for the man who had
just assaulted me.
I didnt do anything. I didnt tell security, I didnt
leave and I didnt find him and punch him in the dick as hard as I
could (as much as I mightve wanted to); I just tried to forget
about it and still have a good night. I didnt do anything because,
as sad as it is, it happens all the time and it is only one in a
long list of stories that I could tell about sexual
assault. Long since, Ive been scared of confrontation.
I am learning what it is to be a gay man in an
environment where we only view each other as bodies, or dicks, or
holes, and what we want to do with that object.
Things you know about me so far then are that Im gay,
Im subjectively good looking, I like vodka redbulls and I have been
sexually assaulted more than once. Other things you should know are
that Im tall, close to two metres; I like fashion (original, I
know); I work in retail fashion and I have a dick that is above
average size (bear with me).
I could talk a lot about having a large dick. It is
desired, but can also be really fucking annoying. I know
it isnt something I should complain about, and so many people see
having a big dick as amazing, but anyone who has to hold their
genitalia when they sit down in a public bathroom lest it touch the
bowl or toilet paper or god knows what else knows that it isnt
Dont get me wrong Ive had plenty of good times with
my dick too. But while men using my height to hit on me is an
eye-roll-and-a-half, men asking if the rest of me is proportional
is downright not okay. Sexual harassment is still sexual
harassment; I dont care...